For Me

Feelings of pushing myself. Wanting to be everything and do everything.

Trying hard to keep up. Is this self-destruction a side-effect or a result? Or are they one in the same?

Pushing myself to be stronger, better, more efficient...

Constant strive for balance, balance, balance... that I may only find if I give in and take the easy road?

Feeling like Atlas.

Could have done it easy and simple but wouldn't have the bragging rights and sense of accomplishment.

Not feelings of regret but rather feelings of confusion. 

Would a fix really fix it? It will still be there in the morning.

Should I give in and fail? May be better for my temporary sanity but bad for my future.

I gave into the pressure years ago and suffered because of it.

Don't want to go down that road again. Can't go down that road again.

Going to be great. Going to accomplish great things like The Greats!

Know the solution but wanting to use the temporary patch.

Have to be strong. Have to not give in. 

Be competitive. Be better.

Nonsensical words make sense to me but not to others.

Type of release? Type of therapy? Is it working?

Problems not so unusual. Others do it too. Others like me.

Being a better person. Accomplishing wonderful things and making progress.

Pain in chest coming and going, going, until hopefully gone.

Resisting so many things others tell me is right. 

Sleep. Over or under. Never a balance. Never set.

Music soothes the soul. Is music another temporary patch? 

Keeping it all together is...

Not wanting to give into old ways. Care too much. Problem or solution? 

Vague sounding like have worse problems. Possibly common problems? 

All is not lost. 

Feelings of this are a good motivational tool right? Good for drive.

Not making sense to the reader. Who is the reader? Not writing for the reader. Writing for a fix.

Not wanting to give into the system. Not conforming. Writing in my own form. Writing for me.

Stepping away from this makes the world rush back. Don't want it all at once. Just in doses. 

Wanting the fix. Wanting the fix.

Relaxing art. Soothes the soul. 

Getting caught up in the music and emotions.

Lovely is life. Lovely is you.

Going to be better. Life feels a little better now. Life feels a little lighter now.